


Not Alone

by space_punk



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, M/M, More Platonic Than Anything Really, Psychological Torture, Rare Pairings, Surreal, Torture, description of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8052463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_punk/pseuds/space_punk
Summary: J.P. had gone back for Perry, to try and save her. What he found was the Dean, who wanted to use him and kill him when he was of no more use. He is shoved into a dark place, chained up, and literally plugged into a mainframe and he is alone. Until he realizes Will Luce isn't nearly as dead as they all thought he was.





	1. Chapter 1

     J.P had gone back for her. Miss Perry was a sweet person, even to him, and she was LaF's best friend. They would never forgive themselves if something had happened to her, so he took the responsibility for them. That way, if anything happened, it would be his fault. They could blame him instead.

     He had been planning on saving Miss Perry, or to die trying. What he hadn't been planning was to find Perry, but also Danny Lawrence, who was definitely dead. And then for Perry to order Danny to attack him.... He had been too stunned to truly fight back. He had slipped into unconsciousness, the image of Perry's smiling face fading into darkness.

\--

     He woke in darkness as well. Chains around his throat, on his wrists. And wires. There were wires everywhere. He could feel them, digging into his skin. He couldn't see, but he could hear. He could hear footsteps, and breathing, but no heartbeat. Vampires. Likely Danny. Whoever it was pressed a button, and his vision lit up in white. Code scrawled across his sight, and that was all he could see. All he could feel was wires. It was like the library all over again. 

     Then, he could only feel the paper of the books, and he could only see when they were opened. And even then no one knew he was there.

     Now, he was plugged in to everything, and there was too much. Too much to see. The students suffering. The Zetas turning on their brothers. And the Dean. Always the Dean, on every screen and speaker in the school. 

     He couldn't tell the time. Days bled into weeks bled into months bled into days. It could have been minutes or years since he was plugged in. He didn't know. But they would speak to him sometimes. The Dean and Lawrence. Tell him that once he had served his usefulness as an undead computer he'd join them back in the real world. And he started to want that more than anything. Real sensation. He was losing his mind. He knew it was only a matter of time until he was as scattered as he had been in the library.

     Until one day he heard a new voice. This voice wasn't from any outside source though. It wasn't from a transmission either. It was in his own mind, speaking up from the very depths of his head to echo through. 

     "Come on, you body-snatching bastard. Don't you give up on us now."


	2. Chapter 2

     "Excuse me?" J.P. looked around, even though he knew he wouldn't see anything. "Who's there?"

     "Take a guess brainiac." The voice came again, and this time J.P. could tell it came from within his own mind.

     "William. Oh dear. I thought....we all thought you were dead. That this was just a body." He murmured, guilt rushing through him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't....I wouldn't have agreed if I thought you would be trapped in here."

      He heard Will scoff, and felt like he was rolling his eyes...or close enough. "Save it. I was dead. But with Mother opening all these gates, things slip through. I was able to show up here. To help, I guess. You can't let her win. You know that right? She's trying to turn you into me. Loyal son." He snorted, self deprecating. "Lot of good that did me."

     "Will, anyone would have fallen for that. Miss Lawrence did. She manipulated you. She manipulated everyone. I just....hers is the only voice I hear. Or, well, it was." J.P. shuddered, his mind unfocusing briefly as a new flash of code scrawled across his vision. "Although I did manage to get in touch with Miss Hollis and Lafontaine. And your sister. They are stuck in the library."

     "Yeah, I know. Ghost, remember?" Will sighed, trying to get Jeep to focus again. "But I'm not here about them. I'm here about you. You might be a body-snatching Frankenstein's monster, but I'm not going to let Mother destroy you. I'm sick of her destroying people. And I can't help Kitty and her friends, but I can help you."

     "How?" J.P. asked, voice pitching high in panic. "I will go mad if I'm stuck like this. And the Dean, your mother, she will take advantage of that. I was stuck in that library for well over a century, I can't be stuck here too. I can't see, Will, I can only hear what they want me to. How is this not a hopeless situation?"

     "You need someone to talk to." He insisted. "Mircalla was stuck underground for a good chunk of time and she didn't go crazy. And she was all alone. This time you have me. I'm still pissed about you and Frankenstein stealing my body, but it's still my body. And Mother's got it strung up like a Christmas tree. It's sick. I can feel echoes of the pain you're in, and it's horrible. This is my good deed. Maybe then I can have a little peace, you know?"

     J.P. shuddered, unknowingly causing a grid-wide surge as he did. "Alright. Just...just keep talking. That will help, I believe."

     "You know me, always a chatty Cathy. So, Jeep, you never actually got to experience football did you? Let me tell you, it was a trip. Let's start at the beginning."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.P. never thought of himself as a high priest.

     J.P. Armitage was going to die.

     The Dean took the time to explain it to him. She wasn't really in a rush. She told him that Miss Karnstein was her high priestess, and the next sacrifice. But without her, the Library's high priest would have to do. Him. She was talking about him.

     He never really thought of himself as a high priest, but it made sense. He spoke for the Library. He talked to it. Carried out its plans. He was the next sacrifice. 

     He barely had time to process this new, terrifying information. He was trying to get Miss Hollis back to her timeline, as well as helping the Library keep the Dean at bay, and listening to William cursing his mother's name with the most colorful language he had heard in centuries. 

     He was going to die. He didn't want to, but he knew he should have died over a century ago. It was overdue, and he was almost at peace with it. But Will shouldn't have to die twice, and he told him as much.

     "You should go. You should go back to the afterlife, and be at peace." J.P. insisted, keeping the fear from his voice. He could do this. He could do this alone if he had to. He could die in this body that wasn't his, with no friends, no allies, no one but the Dean, standing solemn in front of him.

     "No fucking way! You shouldn't....god, you can't just expect me to abandon you here." Will snapped, glaring at him. But there were tears gathering in his eyes. He felt sick, watching the body snatcher standing stoic, trapped in his own mind and talking to a ghost before he became one himself. And he watched as J.P. closed his eyes, and started to literally push him out. He couldn't stop it, he was just a ghost after all, and he was being forced to leave his own body. 

     J.P. was alone again, and he was about to die. The Dean was saying her chants, a knife in her hand as she readied herself for the sacrifice.

     He felt the soft brush of a consciousness that he had never truly been aware of before. Besides odd impulses, and disembodied words, he had never really felt the Library's voice before. But he did now. 

     It was ancient, older even than the Dean. It was knowledge incarnate, and he realized that it knew everything. It was all-seeing, all-knowing, and out of every scholar, philosopher, and genius it could have chosen as a priest, it chose him. A student, whose curiosity rivaled Laura Hollis's. A boy who was afraid to fight in a war, but also afraid to disappoint his family. A boy who had been content to die in a Library at the hands of the Dean, because libraries were where he felt safest. The Library chose him, and it would keep him.

     So as the Dean drove her knife into his heart, cutting it out of his body, he didn't fight. He screamed, and he cried, but he didn't fight. He fell back from life into death, and before his soul slipped into the underworld, the Library caught him. He was enveloped in its presence, and all the knowledge in the universe surrounded him. He became part of the Library, beyond the physical way he had been before. He was in its consciousness, part of its life.

     J.P. Armitage died.

     The Library lives on.

* * *

Fin

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I feel like that was really confusing so here.  
> Basically: Jeep dies and becomes part of the Library. Kind of like a hive mind, he is part of the Library's consciousness, but he still retains his individuality. He is the Library, but the Library is him now too. Idk, guys, it feels kind of like a fever dream


End file.
